Voldemort-19

This my humble take on the pandemic. Harry Potter of course has a perfect metaphor for this situation (too). Imagine Hogwarts being modern economy and Voldemort being the virus.

 

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's (/Sorcerer's) Stone, 1997

 

“SO WHAT?" Harry shouted. "Don't you understand? If Snape gets hold of the Stone, Voldemort's coming back! Haven't you heard what it was like when he was trying to take over? There won't be any Hogwarts to get expelled from! He'll flatten it, or turn it into a school for the Dark Arts! Losing points doesn't matter anymore, can't you see? Do you think he'll leave you and your families alone if Gryffindor wins the house cup? --”

If you break the quarantine/curfew/distancing Voldemort will get the Philosopher's Stone. It doesn't matter if you have a job after this pandemic, because you will be a shell of a man, broken and sad - or dead. If you think it's okay for some people to die as long as you can continue on like before, just read up on history and see for example how the world was after the Black Plague. The world won't be the same no matter what you think.

 

It's all kinds of horrible, like a friend of mine said when we were talking about all those people who has to die alone in the hospitals because no visitation and the healthcare is collapsing. I know I can take this situation pretty easy because I'm used to being home. If I can be a hero just by playing videogames, I have no complaints doing just that. Hello World of Warcraft, my old friend... But I really do symphatise with people who are outgoing, used to live busy lives and has more people at home than just my own sorry ass. And I get that if you're used of being an independent person, it is hard to ask for help for things you would be able to do yourself. If you're not sick, it feels silly to ask someone else to go to the store for you.

 

And I get that there has been many mistakes all around the world. What I don't get is what it helps to point out those mistakes now that it's too late to correct them. Maybe some people think we then stop making other mistakes now? Because we'd be more careful? Even though mistakes were made by being careful? I don't know... I guess "you can lead a horse to Evanescence but you can't bring him to life". In this case it is to give people the proper tools to think and more than plenty of information, but no one can make people see how dangerous of a situation we're in. Of course it's hard to do so, if it's not personal. If you don't know anyone who has been sick, if you have no doubt that you're healthy, it can feel unfair to be restricted and it can almost feel like a conspiracy. Here we see the lack of trust in our governments and the media and we'll fall back to our own senses to figure out what is true and what is not.

 

Maybe some people will now stop complaining about the unemployed who "just sit around the house all day doing nothing", like that's so easy. The same restrictions most people are experiencing now, are the ones poor people have. They can't go anywhere or do anything because they can't afford it. And if something is absolutely necessary, a poor person might have to hoard it from sale. I know this life feels hard right now, but you'll soon get used to it and I can tell you, it's not that bad. There's plenty of things to do: books, audiobooks, tv-shows, movies, you can sing, dance, play, learn a new skill, take an online course, open a window and breath in the fresh air, do spring cleaning, call your long-lost relatives and friends, paint, write, take a nap, move the furniture, build a pillow fortress and sleep in a sleeping bag, go through the photos and delete duplicates, knit, find a silly workout video from the 70's and try to keep up with it, listen to podcasts, draw something without looking at the paper, check out some social media platform you've never used before, tape encouraging words to your window, see an art/museum exhibition online, cook something that needs a lot of time, go for a long walk, imagine a better future, update your addons...

The most important thing is that your life has changed. You don't have to do it like you used to before. You can actually take the nap in the middle of the day if you want to. There are plenty of articles saying that you should hold on to your routines, and maybe that's a good advice. From my own experience the better way is to accept that life is no longer like it used to be and try to find a new rythm to your days before you loose yourself in the nothingness. If you can still work as much as you are required in a day, you don't have to be like you were before. You can do what ever you want without compromising the others, enjoy the time at home. I promise you, it won't last forever. 

 

The world will be like Fawkes and rise from the ashes.

"Nevertheless, Harry, while you may only have delayed his return to power -- if he is delayed again, and again, why, he may never return to power."

💋

Warning signs

If you were forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?

Mine would probably be a long list of all kinds of things from weak self-esteem when face-to-face with someone to judging others too hard to being gullible to having too much patience with messed up people. We all got our stuff. And many times they contradict each others.

I finally got bored growing my armpit hair and decided that I need something, even a little action in my life. I thought Tinder is not for me right now, I want to be able to know a bit more about the other person. I remember OkCupid to be fun so I thought I'd give it another go. Oh boy... I had forgotten some realities of internet dating while taking a break.

Tinder makes it available to send messages only to those who likes you back. OkCupid has no such filter. I made my profile on Saturday and it's now Tuesday morning and almost thirty people has sent me something. Mostly just "hi". I'm not gonna answer to hi unless you're the freaking pope. Or Johnny Depp. And not just a lookalike, it should be the real deal.

One day I was browsing through apps and I saw an app for online dating guide. And specifically for OkCupid. I didn't know I need an app for it. Guide maybe yeah, but an app? What would the app do? I haven't yet tried it, but I think I must just in the name of science.

I think I've probably written about this topic before, but the online world changes so quickly that it's better update the idea. I've changed also, I'm even more bitter and sarcastic towards online dating so let's see where this combination takes us. When I googled the guide app to find more information, I found this site and thought it's pretty interesting. It's an analysis OkCupid has done about what messages gets most responds. So apparently people answer around 36% of the messages they get. I have now answered around 10% which is four answers in total. One guy just linked me some political stuff so I had to answer him that this is definitely not the best way to advance your agenda. One guy sent such a freaky message that I couldn't help but answer something sarcastic back. At least he had written a lot, though I think it was a copy-paste he sends to a lot of people. But it did not include anything sexual, nothing about my looks and it had more than one line of text so it deserved an answer. I like to encourage such behaviour even though the message and probably the person is just a huge joke.

I took a few screenshots of my inbox, but I must warn you: it's not a pretty sight. The lack of imagination and personality (both being personal and showing personality) is worth of headache. And I know this is not even that bad! Facebook had automatically given my profile pic to OkCupid and it took me few days to realise it. Guess what my profile pic looks like in FB? Like I'm the michelin man! On purpose of course, but maybe not the most enticing picture for a dating site. Though that proves even more that most of these guys haven't read my profile at all. (If you don't know what a michelin man is, google is your friend)

Okay, it might not have been easy to see what's said in the screenies but the point is most of them are just helloes and not much else. Most of these messages are from foreigners living in Finland. I keep meeting people like this, probably because I don't care where people are originally from and I think OkCupid is more used by non-Finnish speakers. But there's a clear difference (this is a generalisation) how Finnish guys and how foreign guys tries to hit on chicks. The problem is that both of these groups are trying to hit Finnish women (mostly). Finnish guys don't flatter enough or it's so cheesy it sounds like a lie. Foreign guys flatter too much that it starts to sound like empty words very soon.

For some reason many foreign guys think they have to lie about what they want to women to get what they really want. They want to have sex.

D'oh.

I mean, who doesn't?

Not always and not all, of course. But mostly it's on the agenda and really high up on the list. But why make all those speeches of "I'm so romantic, I'm the most romantic guy in the world, I like to cuddle, I like romantic comedies, I just want to get to know you"? It's crap, and unnecessary. We're in Finland. We don't have a problem with sex. Well okay okay, it's not as big of a problem here. We are somewhat equal which means women can make same decisions as men. I choose who I want to sleep with. I choose when I want to sleep with someone. I choose if I want to see that person ever again after that. Both genders can have casual sex.

So why lie about wanting love when you really want sex? It's unnecessary because there are plenty of women who wants the same thing. But what they want more is honesty. Here's an example that I think shows what the problem is. You can clearly tell where my interest stops like it hit a wall. Though credit to this guy, he was somewhat honest what he was looking for. I just think there should be something else in their heads too. (I have chopped some parts out because they reveal personal things, but this conversation was had within the same hour.)

Don't you just love the question if I was scared? It tickled my old bones in a way that I can't even describe! Because of course being scared is the first reason not to go on a date with someone. Also he didn't tell much about himself but wanted to know personal details about me. If that's not a clear warning sign, I don't know what is.

I think it's important to tell about yourself more than just vague stuff. Like I tell that I work in a museum because I think it tells something about me. But no way am I going to tell first up in what museum I work in. I don't like stalkers and I definitely don't collect them. Though I did just get a closet enough for few skeletons so maybe I should consider it.

The rules listed in the guide are: 1. Be literate. 2. Avoid physical compliments. 3. Use an unusual greeting. 4. Bring up specific interests. And so on. These are tips for how to better get a respond from a potential chatting partner. I don't know about others but I myself am quite bored of having the same conversation of hi's, whats up's and cool story bro's. When I was in England so many people asked me why I was there that I got a bit fed up with it and now I try not to ask it from foreign people. I bet they've already been asked that before.

I don't mind if people are not super literate in their messages but if they have buttloads of spelling mistakes in their profile tells me that they just don't care. My profile picture is showing pretty much half of my face or something along those lines, which is why I hate the physical compliments even more. You haven't seen me, you haven't met me, how on earth would you know if I'm pretty or beautiful or face full of tenderness (wtf is that even?). I probably just have a good picture. Like most women do. We tend to care what we look like on a dating site. Because we want to get dates. So we pick the best pic. Not everyone is so careful though and here's an example of one guy. This is partly because of the language barrier but it's also a lazy profile. Hilarious in its lazyness though.

He's so romantic that one thing he couldn't do without is his mother. Sometimes I wonder if it's (again) a cultural thing, maybe we understand the word romantic differently. Maybe to some people being romantic is being sexual or sexy. Maybe the fairytales about knights and princesses and castles haven't reached all places, maybe the western rom-com idealism hasn't poisoned everyones mind just yet. Or maybe some people just don't know how to use a dictionary.

Anyways, maybe this was enough bashing of those poor blokes who are out there just trying to find love, even for a one brief moment. They will not stop until they have gotten that brief moment, and then you'll never hear from them again. Seriously, don't insult my intelligence by telling me things that are clearly not true. Nor fool me to believe something that is a lie and hurt my pride with it, because it's not necessary. This is Finland, land of loose and intelligent  women.

Damn, it happened again. I was supposed to write about something totally different but I guess this is what came out. Let's have a song of the day while we wait for another time when I write about what I was gonna originally. Better make it a long song...

I wanted the song to be Indiscriminate murder is counter productive by Machinae Supremacy but unfortunately blogger doesn't want to link it here, so let's keep it casual instead and link something funny like She said OK by Big Boi and friends. Nope, that doesn't work either so how about an old fashioned link to both of them. Be a Finnish woman and choose for yourself!

Indiscriminate murder is counter productive: https://youtu.be/QeXpYee5UhM
She said OK: https://youtu.be/us0OtBFyY_M

I think Blogger is slowly telling me that it's not interested and that I should move on to the modern world of vlogs. Anyone have a good video editing program in mind? Or where to stream, does it cost? Is there a difference between podcasts and vlogs? I'm so out of date with this stuff. I guess that's what I get from being old with a young mind :)

Btw. while writing this blog I got a message saying "You are so stunningly beautiful.". I shrugged and kept writing. Because what the hell should I answer to that?

Thanks? Good to see you had a period in the end of that sentence?

Compliments on physical beauty just don't work. And my personal pet peeve is a question without a question mark.

How are you. What's up. How're you doing. How's your day. Wanna meet up. You think I should cut off my fingers for sending this kind of rubbish to people. Question mark.

#justfinnishthings

This is gonna be a long post, forgive me. 

I've been so unbelievably homesick lately that I can't even. It doesn't help that I've had a headache the past three days, stressing for schoolwork and for going back home and ofc it's that time of the month. I took a pill for the headache, did some school stuff and bought some chocolate, so those things are covered, but there's not much I can do to homesickness. And add to that it's the independence day of Funland.

I miss home. I miss toilet doors that opens outside. I miss bus fares that are the same for any distance inside a certain region. I miss people automatically giving space to each other while walking on the street. I miss tap water that tastes good. I miss my own university and the level of education there. I miss familiar currency and familiar products at the store so I could do some kind of comparison without it taking forever. I miss knowing that I can speak my mind and knowing I have the words and the ability to explain what I mean without having to rush and leave things half way (I'm so much more witty in my native language). I miss knowing what's socially acceptable. But most of all I miss my friends and family. I miss being Finnish and not having to justify it to anyone.

It comes in waves and tonight I'm drowning. Tomorrow I'll probably be fine again and thinking that I don't ever want to go back home. So many things are good here and I love the freedom and anonymity that speaking a foreign language gives me. Though I easily swear in situations it's frowned upon, a thing that I would not do in Finnish. I'm having fun here and I love my new friends, they give me different kind of energy that I never thought I could have. I think I have already changed, but for the good and I'm somewhat scared to go back home. What if I fall back to my old ways? What if I don't fit in anymore? As if I ever fit in...

I've always been a bit more patriotic than the average friend of mine but being in a foreign country makes me appreciate my homeland in a very profound way. Clean water and clean air are amazing things. Forests and lakes. Our body-image. The bittersweet melancholy which gives space for happiness too. Free education, health care, dental. Electronic and technological advantages. The history we have. Ecological thinking. Equality and the sexual revolution. Honesty and politeness. The fact that we have a metal cover of so many songs and we have a metal band just for kids. There are so many things wrong in Finland but there are so many things right that it makes it the best country in the world.

I'm listening to Finnish songs and being all teary-eyed. We have a national anthem "Maamme -laulu" (our land's song) but we also had a great composer once, you might have heard of him, called Jean Sibelius who wrote the song Finlandia hymn. It was never meant to be sang but lyrics were made for it almost immediately and they're absolutely beautiful. This is that song performed by a choir and it was an ad for the presidential elections some time back.

The lyrics are touching, the song states that the day of Finland has finally arrived and the terror of the night has been driven away. It also says that Finland should hold its head high because it has shown the world that it has banished slavery and has not bend under oppression. Your morning has begun, Finland.

The times are tough in Finland like they are everywhere. Money is scarce and funding from cultural, educational and health care section are being pulled. There are a lot of worries about human rights, and immigrants and refugees. The discourse is loud - luckily. For both for and against, but at least we are talking about it. The best statement so far was made recently by a store chain with their ad:

The song is a classic and the lyrics gets new meanings with this ad and the people singing it. The lyrics goes something along these lines: He happened to be born innocent / to this northern and cold land / where already the ancestors drunk - of course / beat up their wives and children if they could catch them / the son wanted to escape from the traditional fate / "I won't ever buy an axe and I will never drink booze / or otherwise I will loose the house" / it drives a man in desperation / when the frost harvests the crops / from the middle of cold soil silently / a cold eye is staring / when the axe rises / in the middle of the mounds, from soil of the ground / proudly the fathers are watching their sons / unemployment, alcohol, an axe and the family / snow blanket, police and the last mistake... And so on. It's a very depressing song, but putting in this context it shows us that we're not different from the immigrants and the colour of your skin doesn't determinate that you can't have the same roots as I do.

Finland is traditionally seen as a white and blue country. White as snow, blue from the thousand lakes (or the coldness which makes us change colour from the captains of chalk ships to very unhealthy blueberries). The world is changing and so is Finland with it. I can only imagine the hardships those people go through who moves to Finland and I see it better every day now that I'm far away struggling myself with unfamiliar surroundings. Though I blend in in every Western country for being brown-haired and green-eyed, so one can't tell just by looking at me that I'm necessarily foreign. I've encountered enough cat-calling for being able to imagine what racism could be like, but I imagine it to be something much worse.

Today there's much more colour in Finland and that should be seen as a good thing. Learning about different cultures doesn't only teach us about the world, but it also makes us learn more about ourselves. Not looking beyond our own navel makes us narrow-minded in so many levels and thinking that our ways are the best makes us stand still. You are allowed to pick and choose the best for you and you are allowed to be yourself whatever that might be. It's not okay to break the law or not try living with the rules of the community, but as a person you should be what you are. It's hypocritical of us Finns to judge others when we consider being different a good thing. I know we bow to the Western culture and we want to be known and recognised but we still embrace our difference. Finnish culture wouldn't give up saunas even if rest of the world would criticise it. So why is it so hard to let others be what they want? Why do we think we're so superior and at the same time we have a huge inferiority complex.

Being away from home is hard. Many of my friends don't realise how much I would appreciate hearing from them, talking to them in my mother tongue and just overall being surrounded by familiar things even if it's through interwebs. I find solace in chatting with a friend who lives in a neighbouring country because I imagine he has gone through similar things as I have. He probably hasn't, but I like to relate even if it's just figure of my imagination. And he is one of the few people who pokes me from time to time asking me how it's going. I appreciate that. Though chatting with him is a bit dangerous - this is a person I've mentioned in the blog few times before and I would tell you guys the whole story if I didn't know he occasionally reads this. And on the note of men, I'd like to give an update on what's going on. But first a song to ease the transition.

I am tired of using technology and I need you right in front of me. Which means I'm quite tired of online dating. I miss feeling the rising tension of meeting your crush and I think online dating makes things too mechanical. I did have quite good experience just now: few so romantic dates that they are in my top5 along with the text message saying "the streets are flooding, can I call you?" and kissing at the airport right after meeting.

One of the best parts of him is that he has no idea how good looking he is. He told me that he has made some drastic changes in his life and he doesn't see how much good they've done for him. The worst part is that he has no space in his life and he doesn't realise how much that can affect another person. There's also cultural differences, me thinks, because as a Finn I appreciate punctuality a lot. I can be flexible but if you expect me to be that elastic outside the bedroom, it's not fun anymore.

I think there's a lot of wisdom in being friends first and dating later. Then you already know you're compatible and you know most of the things the other person does. With online or blind dating the connotation is always romantic or at least sexual first. There's some kind of touching of the skins before you really know the other person and then people rather do that than talk.

All the best -guy said the same thing as Dragonborn, and I think they're right. They both blamed me for attacking or pointing out the flaws in them. My friends have always told me I'm too judgemental and I guess that hasn't changed. I will think about this a lot and hopefully I'm able to change my ways because I don't want to be the person who keeps nagging. I think it has something to do with this:

But it's not just about romance. It's about everything. When I see greatness, I'm many times disappointed that the person doesn't see it himself and hasn't reached it yet. Perhaps pointing out the things would help them to realise those things and then help to reach them. It doesn't work like that, I know, and I have to stop doing that. This is why we need to date people that are compatible. Someone who knows you, knows what you mean when you do things, or say things, knows your tone of voice, knows the way you are and the way you act. Dating people blindly is tiresome; getting to know new people again and again in hopes that they will fulfil your hopes and dreams is exhausting.

At least I'm learning things about myself everyday. Both living abroad and dating are good ways to know more of who you are. I truly thank the people and the world for the feedback. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger . After few weeks when I go back home, I will be hard as a rock.

One more (Finnish!) song for the occasion. The lyrics say that you're finally starting to realise that you don't need permissions from anyone, that you're too beautiful to be ashamed and there's nothing to lose, so just let go, be beautiful, indecent and happy. That's truly what a strong independent Finnish woman should be.

Dragonborn

A person who has a banker alt that sometimes sit beside a certain mailbox in Stormwind and is a guild leader, who in real has dark hair, likes metal, lives in Funland, likes to sing and thinks lyrics are important, is allergic to cats and in certain light seems relatively funny... sounds familiar? Who do you think I'm describing? Yup, not me. Let me start from the beginning.

Once upon a time, a cute little gnome settled in Stormwind and made a nest at a mailbox. She sits there almost every day and being all cuddlywuddly has many friends that stops by to say hi or give a quick hug. Many other people in their suits go by and some of them stops to chat with this gnome of ours. One of them is a tall man with a terrible hairstyle. They always talk about business or the weather or anything casual. This goes on for months and months. A new world is found and the city grows quiet. The gnome thinks that is why she hasn't seen her banker friend for a while. Time goes by and no sight of her friend. She asks around and even sends a letter to her friend, worried as she gets the more time passes.

One day she gets a reply, the player of that banker friend informs the player of the gnome that he has been doing other stuff but is back in the game now. Few days passes before they meet with their characters at the mailbox again. They chat and decide to exchange better contact info. In WoW that means giving out battletag names which means one can see the other player when ever they are online and on whatever character. It was long due for the heroes of our story. The real gnome behind the computer screen thought this friend of hers might actually be a girl and young. Nope, it turns out. It's a dude. Around her age.

Abort, abort, abort! Or what ever you do, do not - I repeat - DO NOT flirt with him. You have lately gotten your ass handed to you, don't you dare to suck this person into your mess. So friends? Friends. Friends are good. Especially if they like cats and music.

I, Luci, have a very bad habit of making geeky guys kneel in front of me. I usually tell the poor guys that I eat little boys for breakfast. I explain that it is advised to be careful around me since I can get pretty flirtatious and let's face it, I have a dirty mind and I'm not afraid to use it. I try to stay clear from the chat-traps (I've listed these before when I talked about how to know if someone is interested in you online) but I sometimes put the traps up myself and then walk to them. Here's an example (shortened from the actual conversation):

He: I'm a dragon, I don't have cheeks
Me: I imagine you as the dragon from Shrek
He: But that's a girl
Me: And I'm quite the ass

*bangs her head against the table* Luciiii! Noooo! What the hell is wrong with you?! Those are just the things that will get you into trouble. *sigh* Dude, chill.

That's all this time. Stay tuned for a special Valentine's extravaganza with awesome pics from the interwebs!

I'm fine.

The biggest lie of our generation is the sentence "I'm fine". Usually when I say I'm fine, I've been crying in the shower or slept the whole day. Today when I said I'm fine I did mean it. At least in a sense that I will be fine. I never thought I would do something as childish as to delete someone out of all my contact lists but here we are. I'm almost thirty and I finally did it. It wasn't out of spite, I've been considering it for a while now. A year actually, from time to time. Sometimes we need to protect ourselves and get some distance to people who are no good for us.

Trying to get rid of someone who has been a big part of my life makes me feel weird. Imagine your body to be one thing, the shape of yourself. Then imagine your soul to be another thing, a ghostly shape, but still the same shape as your body. And then imagine yourself walking, but your soul drags behind. Not much, just like a second, but still it's not attached to the rest of you entirely. That's how I feel right now. But I don't really believe in all that dualism bullshit.

There are things that repeats in my life year after year. Usually in November I get awfully depressed. In November if I say I'm fine, don't believe it for a second. In the summer I have my birthday so that brings all kinds of weirdness with it. I can already imagine how odd I will be around the time I hit the next decade. When the spring is sneaking in, I get the feeling of wanting to change things. I feel like I should do something drastic, get out of everything. Usually I move or at least rearrange my house. Right now I have this urge to get out, out of my own life. I really hope I'll manage to find an exchange student spot. A year or even few months somewhere else might do me good.

When I feel lost, I try to find my roots. This means I'll try to find myself in what I've been through or what I've become from the moments I've experienced. Often I do that through music. I don't know what would I do without music!

Don't worry, I'm not the supporter of suicide. But sometimes when my mind race with utter nonsense, I feel like it would be a good idea to just blow my brains to the wall. Or maybe lobotomy would be the salvation. With this whole ordeal of deleting someone from my contacts I couldn't help but to think maybe virtual connection is not always the best thing. Behind the anonymity and the environment in general I've always found it easier to express my inner thoughts to people. Be more open and more approachable. But when I think too much, it sometimes feels like there's those cartoon bubbles floating above my head revealing everything I've ever thought even for a second. Being face-to-face might help us conceal things that just are not meant to be public. Though I've always been an open book in a way. I might not tell people straight up anything but if I'm asked, I usually answer with more information than is required. TMI should be my middle name. And I don't lie, I can rarely even bend the truth for my benefit.

I think this spring will finally be the time I spend quality time with myself. Without any interference from those who have more hanging in their pants than I do. It will probably be rough and lonely, but I think it will do me good. Less craziness, less dates and worrying about them or the people around me, more focusing on schoolwork that I have been neglecting way too much and maybe it's a time to invest in friends this year. I'm a stronk independent woman, why the hell would I even need a man? Oh right, can't marry myself and certainly can't get myself pregnant. Well, I have a friend who I made a bet with that I'm happily in a relationship with all of those things before I'm 34 so what's the rush. I can't find The Guy from the debts of the interweb nor going around the town so I better stay put and wait for him to ring my doorbell. That will happen, right?

Humor is a way of coping, you know, and there's nothing wrong with that. *nod*

Can I crash and burn on you?

Online dating has many horrible things. First of all you have to be very good at reading between the lines to get any sense what kind of person you are getting to know at. Secondly you make judgement by how well the other person photographs and with Tinder the dating world is even more about looks. Thirdly there's the horrendous moment when you have to meet a complete stranger and awkwardly try to come up with something to talk about or to do. And then lastly the point when either one doesn't really feel anything and how to let someone down easy.

I've been on too many blind dates compared to my quite shy and girl-next-door character. I always agree on the date if it happens in a public place and I try to keep a quick getaway plan in mind if it doesn't go well. So far all the dates I've been on has been okay. Not perf but decent enough. Most of them are just going for drinks or coffee but once this guy took me to a fleamarket. I've told about guys that haven't really fit me, but now there's something new in the air...

I've been chatting with this guy who seems too good to be true. He had laughed at EVERY joke I've made, and as you know dear reader, I'm not even that funneh. He has brown button eyes, my one weakness. He has as dirty mind as I do, but isn't after just one thing. And I know this because he wants to take me out for ice cream. ICE freaking CREAM! In winter. Who would do that? How did he knew I LOOOOOVE ice cream?!

 

So I'm obviously excited. More excited than I've ever been about a blind date. In my head there's this little loud person yelling "There's gotta be something wrong with him! You're not that lucky!". Maybe he is shorter than I am. Maybe he has weird ticks. Maybe he is a total misongynist. Maybe he never washes up and has a filthy hair. Maybe he is a slacker that can't take care of himself. Or worse: he is a momma's boy. Or maybe he is an alcoholic. Or worst case scenario: he would be perfect and he wouldn't like me.

I already told him my most embarrasing stuffz. Like that I play WoW or that I like Star Trek more than Star Wars. And he still wants to meet me. Weird, ehh? Do you ever get that tinkling feeling that something is about to happen? And you know it's gonna be good, at least for a moment. For me this is something like that. I'm pretty certain that now I'm going to crash and burn.

This may or may not be it for me. Good bye cruel world! It was nice knowing you!

(don't worry, you can read about my horrible date in the next post and listen to me whine more about single life in the future)

(and weirdly enough, the time I've been single, I've never been happier and more balanced in my life. do I even want to go on a potential date and ruin it all?)

(maybe I should just chicken out...)

(haha, as if I would pass on ice cream!)

Dictures

I promised to my guildies to write about dick pics so here it goes. Or as Sofura (AD-EU) called them: dictures. I don't really get what the problem is with them. Why do women dislike them so much?

For my birthday I asked in FB people to tell me a nice memory of the two of us instead of all the gratsing. Later that day I received a message from this one guy. He said we don't know each other that well so he can't really tell a funny story, but instead he sent me a dicture and wished it made me laugh. It was a really nice gesture in my opinion. Now we do have a funny memory we can laugh about for years after.

That wasn't my first dickie and probably won't be the last (at least not after this post). Everytime I've encountered a conversation about dictures, the girls are complaining. "It's a dick, eewww, who would want to see that?!"
I do.

Maybe it's because I'm a Finn. We here in Funland go to sauna from early age. There's nothing sexual about it. We go there to relax, to be cleansed. We go there together as a family or friends. And we go nekkid. So I've seen my fair share of willies. To me it's just another part of the body, although it has its sexual appeal. The dick has sexual appeal, and the rest of the body has it too. The mind also. But a dick itself? Meh, just a thing hanging between the legs.

I've wrote about dicks more than I thought I would ever even think about them. I've written about the problems one can have with them, I've written about the size and now I'm writing about pictures of them. I wonder how many prudes out there are blushing just for the thought of a dick. If you are, I suggest going to sauna with people. Or the nudist beach. Nothing is sexual before we make it sexual.

Dickies are like modern days ankles. You flash them only to someone special or when you feel like being adventurous. There shouldn't be anything offensive about it. A dick is not being rude to you. It's even a compliment if it's standing up to salute you! Words can hurt, but a picture of a dick shouldn't shake your world.

There are different kinds of dickies. I've been told there are guides to taking one too. As in should you trim before taking the picture, should you show your hand and preferably a watch too. Apparently a true "dong shot" shouldn't be in underwear but in full nudity. Also you should think if you want to show just your willie or your balls too. You can read more about it from here or
here (be careful googling if you don't want to see any actual pictures).

And guys, it's okay to be proud of your body. Just choose wisely who you send your dictures to because not all of us want to see that thing. Apparently.

So girls, if you get a dicture, take it as a compliment. If you don't like what you see, just don't answer to the message and delete the picture. A dicture is personal, it's meant for your eyes only. Don't be a dick and share it to the world.

If a dicture isn't enough for a birthday present, you can always put it in a box.

(sorry about that, for some reason I couldn't link a better version)

You wouldn't download 1001 nights

I saw this on Imgur (yes yes, I'm an imgurian, it's a lovely community). Moo pointed out that he would totally pirate a friend - and I would too. There are lots of internetian friends I've met IRL, some before I knew them online, some after. Some internetians I haven't yet met and some I probably never will. One person I've met inclined that we didn't really know each other because we've only spent time together for couple of days. That is to say that we've only seen each other for couple of days. But for me we've known for over a year since that's how long we've occasionally chatted.

This made me think at what point do we actually know each other? I've been told that psychologists have said you can know a person completely after 1001 nights. That's about three years. After that there shouldn't be any major surprises. With my last boyfriend, we were together almost six years and he still didn't know how I like my breakfast. I wonder why I kept hoping he would after the first few years. Silly me.

Annnyyways. The question is: Can we truly know each other if we've only met online? Do we need the "physical copy" to really know a person? I think it's a question that has to be approached from two sides. In the other hand you can't know another person without seeing how he (not doing the he/she crap) reacts, how he emotes, how he smiles with his eyes... But in the other hand you get a much closer look because you see what the other person is without all the physical awkwardness. You get a glimbse of the mind more through online interactions than from physical presence. There's no distractions from how the other person looks like, how he smells like, how he rubs his balls or burbs.

It is said that we have the opportunity to lie more easily on the interwebs but then again it is also said that it's easier to be open as well. It's much easier to tell a non-physical friend what's bothering you and since you have to tell how you feel because the other can't see if you're crying or not anyway, it's also easier to share inner thoughts just by writing them. You don't feel self-conscious about a bad hair day when you're online. Your online friends don't care about that, they care what's truly going on with your life. They care more about what goes through your head than what's on your head.

For example those who reads this blog knows much more about me than what I usually share with people. But then again, I'm an open book always. I might not tell if not asked, but if asked I'm brutally honest. I may have sextourettes, but I guess that is interesting to some people since the blog has over 2000 views. How cool is that!

I have a birthday coming up so stay tuned for some serious b-day anxiety. I can't promise you anything, but I'm pretty sure that will be the inevitable topic next time. Thank you all for reading my nonsense :)

The things we say for love

I've been single for eight months now and I've spent way too much time in dating sites. I thought I'd share some of the best and worst experiences I've had with you, dear reader. By best I mean the most hilarious and by the worst I just mean the worst.

I've been on two sites, one Finnish and one global. Both of them are free to use, I never paid any extra for more features. I'm not that into dating. Overall I think dating isn't something for a Finn anyway. My friend told me about this app that you can use to find single people close to you when you're on the move, rate them and if they like you back, chat with them and meet up with them. Finns are not exactly famous about casual dating, going out with someone usually requires more than just a hi and a smile. Some guys in the internet dating world gets that and aren't pushing to meet right away, or if they are, they do it nicely. There's a fine line between cute and creepy.

I think guys have a lot of pressure to stand out in dating sites. For a girl it's pretty much enough that you're a girl. I think the key is to be friendly, interested in the other person and not jump into conclusions of the other person.

One of the funniest one was one guy who offered to be my dog. I didn't answer it. I've also been offered sex quite many times but for some reason they never seem to be appealing to me... go figure.

One guy told me that he thinks - in based on my profile - I'm depressed. Umm... how is that going to get you in my pants or in my heart?

One guy that I actually went out with was talking about kids on third date and then flipped out and deleted me from his friends in FB. It was an utter mess and makes me quite hesitant to meet anyone anymore. Only shows why dating isn't for Finns: you can't get to know the other person if the premises are for something more serious. Seriously. We hadn't even kissed. Dude, relax.

One guy asked me to chat with him because he was bored and ended up flipping too because I answered shortly to one of his message. I don't have time for people getting all crazy over nothing so I usually just stop answering to those kind of people. I guess the problem is that I'm nowhere near desperate enough for dating sites. I hope I never will.

I also found out that most of Finnish guys are so utterly boring that I feel like throwing up when I read their profiles or messages. One guy asked if would be interested in joining him watching the news. Yea, because that's what I'm looking for in a dating site. Someone to watch the news with. Oh god.

One guy asked me to go out for a cup of coffee. Nothing else but straight into business. I politely turned him down but then received more messages for explaining myself why not. I don't care to argue people with that kind of stuff. If I say no, it is a no. Why is that so hard to accept?

I'm sure not all the girls are like me, but I dislike people who don't take the time to write their messages or profiles. Is it so hard to use capital letters when beginning a sentence? It's not like my English is even close to fluent, but at least I try. It does show if one tries. One guy sent me messages that were couple of words long. When I asked him to elaborate, he said I was cold. hahahaha,,,wtf m8 fite m irl!!!1

One guy wrote me a poem. It was about a "bunch of flowers" that sweat. My poets heart died a little with that one.

A good first message is bright and happy. It's humorous and shows that you've read even something about the others profile. It's not generic, it's personal - like you want to be with that other person. If you start with generic, you'll end up being generic.

But I guess there are matches for "kinky mathematicians" too. Or hairless dogs.

And peeps. You might want to add a picture that actually makes you appealing to others. Don't choose the one your buttons are about to burst on your shirt or where you  are sitting with bunch of people so no one knows which one you are. But don't lose the hat. I like hats.

Captains log, day 1

My game time expired this morning and because I couldn't sleep last night, I didn't wake up early enough to see it end. That means I better get more time before my mails get sent back to the sender. And the sender would be the auction house. And that sure would be waste of pennies.

I promised you guys a longer post later, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get to finish that one. I think about it at night when I try to sleep but when the morning comes, all the ideas has flown away like birds facing the coldness of winter. Or when I sit down to write them, they don't come out as I thought.

Instead of those things I've also been thinking about games we play. When my friends asks me if they should say this and that to a person they like or send them a message on facebook or ask them to befriend them in any social media platform or when they ask me what did some person mean by saying that and saying so, I usually encourage my friends to do as they please and stop playing games. Life is so much simpler if everyone would just do as they want when it comes to liking someone. And again this doesn't exclude friendships.

If you want to be someones friend in facebook, just add them.
If you want to tell someone you like them, just go ahead and do it. What's the worst thing could happen?
You want to blame someone for not being there for you when you needed help, again, people are not mind readers, just ask for help.

Do what you feel like doing. If it doesn't harm you or others around you, you'll be much happier living easy and simpler life by not playing games.

So much easier said than done, am I right?

You can keep asking and asking, but if the other person answers differently than he (or she, I'm still not going to do that crap) acts, which should we trust the most? Or what if the person you ask keeps changing his answer or actions? When comes the point that it's better to protect yourself from future harm and just cut them out of your life? How do you know when the person is truly worth all the drama he causes in your head?

I tend to keep my eyes and ears open all the time. That makes me play much more games that I would like to. And I know how irritating it is, because I have a friend who does the same. Everything that comes out of his mouth is intended, it means something and your words and actions are being monitored and valued. Usually only way to pass is being honest. He can smell if I try to hide something and is very persistent digging what ever that is out.

In friendships it's easier to let the little reactions slip and still like the other person, but is it so easy when it comes to people you likelike? You wish they would react in some way to your actions or answers or questions, but what if they don't? How many times you are willing to play the game before you give up?

I'm missing my WoW friends already even though I can reach most of them through FB, Skype or Steam. It's so weird to miss people you've never actually met. But I guess that shows the virtual connection can be strong too. Don't underestimate the power of minds connecting when it comes to virtual worlds or internet. Because this is truly the place where your words means more than your age, weight or style.

Alone, in the dark

Few days ago I was sitting in the bus and I noticed over half of the passengers were crouching over a light coming from their palms. Made me think what if writing would have been invented now? Would people say reading books in buses and trains destroys all social interactions between the fellow people?

And then I thought about time when reading wasn't common and books were hard to get and I realised why people that knew something knew quite much: They had time to read. Think about the long trips they made back then. Sitting in the cart for hours and hours would give time to read if there was daylight outside.

Back to this time and age. I disagree with the thought smart phones, virtual worlds and all that makes us less social. I think it's quite the opposite. It shows that we do care what's going on in peoples lives, although there is much karma whoring going around too. But people are not so focused on thinking about and memorising equations and plays, but checking up on friends and family or talking to people in other countries. People who chat their bus rides get first hand knowledge about the common mans society, learn about other cultures and see news about ongoing events that affects our society. People are more informed about daily life and maybe not as blind as the one that sits in the bus without the light in his palm.

The one that sits alone in the dark.

I mean, come on. When is the last time you met a Finn that would talk to a stranger?

The age of innocence

Things that always fascinates me in the virtual world are the relationships. I already talked about like, love and flirting, but this time I'd like to go deeper into relationships.

I chatted briefly with Foss about virtual friendships and the lack of physical closeness. It's a topic that doesn't involve only love affairs but any kind of mutual liking. Can you be close to a person that's only pixels? Can you be involved with someones life if you can't hold him, hug him, truly smile at him or wipe his tears away? (I say him because there's only one word for genders in Finnish and I don't see the point on doing all that he/she -crap.) Is a relationship deeper when you can see the other person, for example through video chat?

Are we blind or deaf in the virtual worlds? Is there something missing?

My opinion in the matter is based on two things:

One is that I'm not a very touchyfeelykind of a person. I don't really like to be touched and the people I let touch me are privileged in my eyes. If I have to hug a random relative or a total stranger, I feel very uncomfortable. When I hug my friends, I usually do it for them, not for me. My close family were never the touchy kind and we express love mostly by sarcasm. One who doesn't understand our way of making fun of each other, doesn't see the deep feelings we have, the closeness and the warmth. I didn't learn to touch people around me as a kid and I didn't learn it as an adult either. I'm not saying I don't like laying on the couch watching a movie in someones warm embrace, but I don't grave it.

The other thing is that I've always had the words on my fingertips. Writing in foreign language makes it more difficult, but for me expressing myself in written words has never been an obstacle. I used to write stories and poems (they were mostly rubbish, btw.) and still sometimes I entertain my guildies by "storytime" as we like to call it. I tell you more about storytime later. I think one can express emotions through text as in spoken words too, it's not a big difference. You just have to know how to "listen".

To make any kind of a relationship work in the interwebs requires understanding and a gut feeling. The other person makes a lot of typoes? Maybe he is tired. He doesn't answer you with long sentences? He might want to be left alone. He says something, that's almost hidden and quiet, in a subordinate clause? Pay attention to those, he might say more than he writes. Ask questions. Because you can't see the other person and you might not know his tone of voice, you have to ask. I can't emphasise this asking thing enough. Don't let yourself be blind or in the dark with the others, open your virtual mouth and write a question. "What do you mean by that?" "I'm sorry, I don't really understand, can you make it more clear for me?" You can pick up on moods through text especially if you chat with that person often.

I think a relationship in the virtual world can function just like any other in the "real world" if you want and you are satisfied with it. If you need hugging, then it's just not for you. Still doesn't mean you can't have some kind of relationships with the people you talk with, maybe just not as fulfilling. Friendships requires for you to be there, for you to listen, for you to show compassion and sharing. You can do all that by writing, I'm sure.

But I think it's a totally different question when it comes to love affairs. Can you start loving a person you've never touched, hugged, kissed, smelled or banged? Can a relationship be deep without physical connection? I don't think so. You can be friends over the net, even romantic, maybe a little dirty too, but in the end, the love would be blind, deaf and a hanging torso. Even I, the touch-hater, need to be able to really feel the other person. I mean, what's the point if you don't get to do all the fun stuff too ;)