Mine would probably be a long list of all kinds of things from weak self-esteem when face-to-face with someone to judging others too hard to being gullible to having too much patience with messed up people. We all got our stuff. And many times they contradict each others.
I finally got bored growing my armpit hair and decided that I need something, even a little action in my life. I thought Tinder is not for me right now, I want to be able to know a bit more about the other person. I remember OkCupid to be fun so I thought I'd give it another go. Oh boy... I had forgotten some realities of internet dating while taking a break.
Tinder makes it available to send messages only to those who likes you back. OkCupid has no such filter. I made my profile on Saturday and it's now Tuesday morning and almost thirty people has sent me something. Mostly just "hi". I'm not gonna answer to hi unless you're the freaking pope. Or Johnny Depp. And not just a lookalike, it should be the real deal.
One day I was browsing through apps and I saw an app for online dating guide. And specifically for OkCupid. I didn't know I need an app for it. Guide maybe yeah, but an app? What would the app do? I haven't yet tried it, but I think I must just in the name of science.
I think I've probably written about this topic before, but the online world changes so quickly that it's better update the idea. I've changed also, I'm even more bitter and sarcastic towards online dating so let's see where this combination takes us. When I googled the guide app to find more information, I found this site and thought it's pretty interesting. It's an analysis OkCupid has done about what messages gets most responds. So apparently people answer around 36% of the messages they get. I have now answered around 10% which is four answers in total. One guy just linked me some political stuff so I had to answer him that this is definitely not the best way to advance your agenda. One guy sent such a freaky message that I couldn't help but answer something sarcastic back. At least he had written a lot, though I think it was a copy-paste he sends to a lot of people. But it did not include anything sexual, nothing about my looks and it had more than one line of text so it deserved an answer. I like to encourage such behaviour even though the message and probably the person is just a huge joke.
I took a few screenshots of my inbox, but I must warn you: it's not a pretty sight. The lack of imagination and personality (both being personal and showing personality) is worth of headache. And I know this is not even that bad! Facebook had automatically given my profile pic to OkCupid and it took me few days to realise it. Guess what my profile pic looks like in FB? Like I'm the michelin man! On purpose of course, but maybe not the most enticing picture for a dating site. Though that proves even more that most of these guys haven't read my profile at all. (If you don't know what a michelin man is, google is your friend)
Okay, it might not have been easy to see what's said in the screenies but the point is most of them are just helloes and not much else. Most of these messages are from foreigners living in Finland. I keep meeting people like this, probably because I don't care where people are originally from and I think OkCupid is more used by non-Finnish speakers. But there's a clear difference (this is a generalisation) how Finnish guys and how foreign guys tries to hit on chicks. The problem is that both of these groups are trying to hit Finnish women (mostly). Finnish guys don't flatter enough or it's so cheesy it sounds like a lie. Foreign guys flatter too much that it starts to sound like empty words very soon.
For some reason many foreign guys think they have to lie about what they want to women to get what they really want. They want to have sex.
D'oh.
I mean, who doesn't?
Not always and not all, of course. But mostly it's on the agenda and really high up on the list. But why make all those speeches of "I'm so romantic, I'm the most romantic guy in the world, I like to cuddle, I like romantic comedies, I just want to get to know you"? It's crap, and unnecessary. We're in Finland. We don't have a problem with sex. Well okay okay, it's not as big of a problem here. We are somewhat equal which means women can make same decisions as men. I choose who I want to sleep with. I choose when I want to sleep with someone. I choose if I want to see that person ever again after that. Both genders can have casual sex.
So why lie about wanting love when you really want sex? It's unnecessary because there are plenty of women who wants the same thing. But what they want more is honesty. Here's an example that I think shows what the problem is. You can clearly tell where my interest stops like it hit a wall. Though credit to this guy, he was somewhat honest what he was looking for. I just think there should be something else in their heads too. (I have chopped some parts out because they reveal personal things, but this conversation was had within the same hour.)
I think it's important to tell about yourself more than just vague stuff. Like I tell that I work in a museum because I think it tells something about me. But no way am I going to tell first up in what museum I work in. I don't like stalkers and I definitely don't collect them. Though I did just get a closet enough for few skeletons so maybe I should consider it.
The rules listed in the guide are: 1. Be literate. 2. Avoid physical compliments. 3. Use an unusual greeting. 4. Bring up specific interests. And so on. These are tips for how to better get a respond from a potential chatting partner. I don't know about others but I myself am quite bored of having the same conversation of hi's, whats up's and cool story bro's. When I was in England so many people asked me why I was there that I got a bit fed up with it and now I try not to ask it from foreign people. I bet they've already been asked that before.
I don't mind if people are not super literate in their messages but if they have buttloads of spelling mistakes in their profile tells me that they just don't care. My profile picture is showing pretty much half of my face or something along those lines, which is why I hate the physical compliments even more. You haven't seen me, you haven't met me, how on earth would you know if I'm pretty or beautiful or face full of tenderness (wtf is that even?). I probably just have a good picture. Like most women do. We tend to care what we look like on a dating site. Because we want to get dates. So we pick the best pic. Not everyone is so careful though and here's an example of one guy. This is partly because of the language barrier but it's also a lazy profile. Hilarious in its lazyness though.
Anyways, maybe this was enough bashing of those poor blokes who are out there just trying to find love, even for a one brief moment. They will not stop until they have gotten that brief moment, and then you'll never hear from them again. Seriously, don't insult my intelligence by telling me things that are clearly not true. Nor fool me to believe something that is a lie and hurt my pride with it, because it's not necessary. This is Finland, land of loose and intelligent women.
Damn, it happened again. I was supposed to write about something totally different but I guess this is what came out. Let's have a song of the day while we wait for another time when I write about what I was gonna originally. Better make it a long song...
I wanted the song to be Indiscriminate murder is counter productive by Machinae Supremacy but unfortunately blogger doesn't want to link it here, so let's keep it casual instead and link something funny like She said OK by Big Boi and friends. Nope, that doesn't work either so how about an old fashioned link to both of them. Be a Finnish woman and choose for yourself!
Indiscriminate murder is counter productive: https://youtu.be/QeXpYee5UhM
She said OK: https://youtu.be/us0OtBFyY_M
I think Blogger is slowly telling me that it's not interested and that I should move on to the modern world of vlogs. Anyone have a good video editing program in mind? Or where to stream, does it cost? Is there a difference between podcasts and vlogs? I'm so out of date with this stuff. I guess that's what I get from being old with a young mind :)
Btw. while writing this blog I got a message saying "You are so stunningly beautiful.". I shrugged and kept writing. Because what the hell should I answer to that?
Thanks? Good to see you had a period in the end of that sentence?
Compliments on physical beauty just don't work. And my personal pet peeve is a question without a question mark.
How are you. What's up. How're you doing. How's your day. Wanna meet up. You think I should cut off my fingers for sending this kind of rubbish to people. Question mark.
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