Charge!

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind? I don't. But lately I've been feeling like this:

Imagine a tall, dark, ominous castle. I'm just outside it with a group of people. They are all proper knights, and I'm just a sorry squire. There's an evil dragon inside the castle who is holding women from different cities hostage. They have been imprisoned for a long time. They might not be alive anymore, but I did hear a scream a while ago.

I have my short sword, my helmet and my keen attitude to save the women and with them the villages they were robbed from. Unfortunately it is a foreign country and I don't know my way around the castle. I'm just a squire, I wasn't meant to fight the dragons. I turn to the knights. I tell them I heard a scream and if we act fast, we might still be able to save someone.

Squire, from Dungeon Defenders

One of the knights has fallen asleep while I was admiring the castle. He is snoring loudly and does not even budge when I poke him. Another one said he'd take a leak and we haven't seen him since. That was days ago. One has broken his sword and he is swinging the rest of it in the air. He is ready for action, but unfortunately the sword is not.

The fourth one looks at the castle, turns to me and asks if I know are the women blond. I do know, because I have seen them. He doesn't care for brunettes, and since he would probably have to marry a rescued woman, it would be better to know beforehand if they are to his liking.

Then there's one who has all the equipment and everything, he sits there sharpening his sword and he knows everything about dragons. Unfortunately he has already promised to free a dozen other virgins, maids, princesses and whatnot. And the castle is not even in his territory.

The problem is that even though the castle is tall, dark and ominous, the distressed maidens are on the first floor. We could see them, if we just would peek through the window. And actually the dragon is quite old and lazy. If the maidens are dead, they have probably died of hunger, and not because of the enemy. We could pretty much charge inside and the rescue would be done in an instance. And I can't storm the castle, because... well, it seems I've lost my bottoms as you can see from the picture. I keep poking and poking the knights to do something. One is missing, one doesn't care, one doesn't have the equipment and one... I don't even know.

We are all fighting our battles and usually it's not like a fairy tale, more like a comedy.

Suicide Bunnies