Not for thin skinned

I was hesitant to write about this because obvious reasons, but since it keeps popping up to my head again and again I thought what the hell! I've never been a private person even though I might seem so IRL. So let's talk about se... floorwashing, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things.

I'm single, so yes, I think about washing floors with someone quite often. And yes, even girls do that. A lot.

Nothing is more sexy than confidence. But it's not so easy to be confident. In a long relationship when the starting awkwardness is over, it's easier to find the confidence to think oneself sexy. The partner already knows how you look and act half or totally nekkid so you can just go with it. What I've noticed in my new single life, is that thought of washing floors with someone - especially with a stranger - makes me doubt myself. I'm not skinny, I never been and I never will. I accept myself and I even like little things in my figure. But would someone else find my little quirkyness' charming and floorwashable.

Should I tell that person about them beforehand or just let them discover them while washing? Maybe the other person wouldn't even notice them, since they are little things. Or would it be better to just go "yeayea, I know my mop looks a little different than in por... floorwashingmovies" and hope the other person wouldn't be creeped out by it. I know you frown there now, but come on! We all have that one (or two, or three...) thing we are self-conscious about. Has society taught us to cover and change them and not accept them?

My experiences with washing floors are quite limited. The amount of partners I've had can be counted with fingers only. No need to add toes to that. I think they might not have all been very normal way to wash floors either. Few of my ex-partners have had some problems with their... mophandle. Either it's more common than people think or then I've just had weird luck. Anyways, it makes me ponder do I even know how to wash floors like normal people should. Can I dive in and passionately wash dem floors or am I stuck to carefulness and different equipment to help with the washing.

To all moms and dads out there, teach your kids to take care of the mops and handles. I know it's a sensitive subject and it can create awkwardness, but I can't emphasise enough how important it is for a man to be able to perform normally. The cover of the handle should go all the way back. If it doesn't or it hurts, there is a problem.

In worst case the cover has to be surgically removed. It's already been years and I can't remember it so well (goldfish memory, what can you do), but I want to tell you what I remember about it. I was with this guy who couldn't wash floors because the cover was stuck and wouldn't move without anxiety. I went to the doctor with him and after few times there finally was a conclusion that the best way to get normal life was to do a circumcision... for the mop handle. Yeah, totally talking about washing floors.

I remember the moment he walked out of the surgery. I hadn't slept much that night nor eaten. I almost fainted, he was so pale and clearly in drugs and in pain. The car ride home was tricky because he couldn't really wear pants and sitting wasn't the most pleasant position so to say. When we got home, I left him for a moment to run to the drugstore to get the prescription medication even though he wasn't supposed to be alone so shortly after the surgery. And good I did, because he really needed those painkillers.

I have read from the internet stories about guys going back to work the next day like nothing ever happened. I don't know how that is possible, but there are different types of circumcisions so maybe those people had less cover removed. It took weeks before he could start wearing pants like a normal person and even longer to actually move around in them. So there we were, me trying to do the grocery shopping because he couldn't and he doing the cooking because I couldn't. It took months to heal, over a year to be almost normal. And it took even longer getting used to the fact that the mop handle couldn't ever be covered again.

This might sound a rough story, but compared to what could've happened if it wasn't fixed are worse. Washing floors with someone is always nice, but to have a clean and healthy handle is also important. I remember the doctor telling what might happen after years: the cover might strangle the handle and the top end could swell so badly the whole thing would start to look like a mushroom. Not a nice future, am I right? And that was just one example. Much better future for this particular guy was the ability to wash floors more normally - which made me happy of course - and in the end I know he doesn't regret going through the surgery.

If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer because it's not easy to find information about this from a medical+personal view. Hit me up with e-mail address and I will get back to you.

In conclusion: how ever you choose to wash floors, it doesn't matter how your mop or your handle looks like or do you have a cover or not; the important part is that it works as it is supposed to.

As in you get clean floors. Because that's what they are for.

Washing floors.