I've had a hard week. I shouldn't really complain since I have the easiest job in the world, nice people to work with, I have amazing friends and guildies and I have pizza, cola and of course ice cream. Also, I smell like Hubba Bubba again.
But sometimes everything seems... heavy. Lonely. Dark.
I do well with responsibilities, I think, and I have this Plato-like thinking that those should lead who are the best at it, not those who wants to do it. And from time to time I really don't want to do it. It's this vicious cycle of loving it and hating it. And what am I talking about? Guild leading.
I can't say I don't enjoy the... no, it's not respect... not power, I have no authority... I enjoy the feeling of being liked. And needed. We all need the feeling of being needed some way. That's why it's okay to call your dad to come help you set up furniture or your mom to ask about how does a grill work. That's what guild leaders are for too, on some level. They don't call me mommabear for nothing. Would be interesting to hear how other female guild leaders personify, especially those who are further away from the age of the playing masses.
That will be my transition to the topic I wanted to write about. If I could, I would ban the word "teenager". It has the same kind of after taste as "that time of the month". The teenage years are artificially made and it's nowhere near an exact period of time. We all experience youth differently. The time it takes for each individual to grow up and become an adult or fully developed varies; some people never do.
We like to put the blame on the age. "Oh, he can't be serious because he is just a teenager." That's what we're saying when we pull out the t-card. What we mean is that we don't fully recognise the younger people's opinions because they lack experience. To be able to think things truly through we firstly need experience and then we need time to process those experiences and learn from them. What we mean by calling someone a teenager, we mean that we don't trust they have had enough time to process or gather useful experience. We remember how it was like to be a teenager, and we like to think it was full of emotions, hormones and confusion. And looking back we know we've grown so much since then. It was a period of time we struggled through and because we survived, we like to make a little fun of the people who haven't yet seen the other side. We consider teenage years to be some kind of modern rite of passage, a boot camp if you will.
I think what we should do is to stop and ponder why has the word "teenager" become a dysphemism. I remember feeling humiliated when I was dissed because of my age. These days it doesn't bother me so much because I know I still have a lot to learn. Things I can't learn without the time to process my experiences. Still, it doesn't mean I shouldn't be taken seriously. What I feel and think are true and should be taken seriously regardless of my age. One can be mature and still be young. Or one can be old and still act like an instable and hormonal child.
There is a reason why there are legal age limits on voting, buying alcohol and so on. Even though some of the under aged people would be able to make good and mature decisions by themselves, most of them can't in large matters like these. The ones that has the experience and the time has some responsibility to protect those who can't yet have processed decisions. But still, I think when it comes to social interactions, we shouldn't judge the book by its cover (this time I mean age) and we should make the judgement on everyone individually. Those who have more rings on their trunk have a responsibility to take care for those who don't have that yet. But we can only set up the ground rules, the decisions have to be made by everyone themselves. That's the only way to learn and we should all respect that.
To summarise: consider before you use the t-card. When you call someone a teenager are you really referring to age or are you just projecting your own memories and insecurities? Could there be some other way to say what you mean? Could you judge less and listen more, educate more those who don't yet know as much as you do? I always like to solve problems by thinking it from all the sides. I like to look at the black and white and notice the grey areas too. It's always good to talk things through to see the both sides of the story.
But if that doesn't work out, there's always one mommabear to listen to your problems and I promise to help you to solve them. Or at least listen. Because sometimes it's nice just to vent.
/end of rant
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