Burn

I sometimes lie on my bed in the middle of the day and just stare at the ceiling. I don't really see the ceiling so I can't tell you how many wrinkles there are in the paint. I just lie there and imagine my life to be different. Sometimes I think how would I spent millions of euros if I ever won the lottery. Sometimes I imagine how would I train a dog if I had one. Sometimes I imagine a warm purring cat on my stomach and how it would feel to pet it. But most of the times I imagine myself being in love.

I imagine myself with someone who would make me happy. So happy and confident, I would come out of my shell and sing and dance and be silly, like I am now when there are not many people around me. I imagine being close to someone and liking it. Like I said earlier, I'm in no means a touchy-feely person. But I do imagine what if there was a person with whom I wanted to be close. You never know...

Sometimes I'm so certain there's someone like that out there for me. I might even have met him already. But then I remember that maybe the person I imagine might not imagine me. Maybe he lies awake and imagines someone else. What if I stumbled upon that person who started this fire in me but it's not the person who I spend my life with? And does the picture suggest the person I spend my life with is not going to light a fire? How many people can there be who can light a fire in me?

So I wrote some crap. It's kind of like a poem, but it's so incomplete that I wouldn't give it that fine title. This is the second version and probably not the last one. I call it "Reach".

We're like homeless on the streets
Turned away from the bonfire,

Scared to be burned
So lonesome and tire
Can't you see we need the warmth
Why are we so scared and turned away

When the fire is right next to us
And all you need to do is reach my way

The light, the heat, so close
I'm cold and you know it
There's no other fire for me
How can I show it
Standing there, backing away from the fire
Turn around and you'll see
Turn around and just reach
Reach for me

Homeless, on the streets
You and I
Turned away from the bonfire
Reaching just for the stars,

Being afraid of the old scars
So lonesome and tire

Still I stand, feeling so alone
In the streets so cold
I know you can feel the fire
I'm tired of reaching for a hand to hold

I stayed for a lesson of love
But only patience can this teach
While my fire fades with you
All you'd need to do
is reach

That's all for the night. Sleep well, my lovelies!