Let me paint you a picture

I always thought I was one of those who never gets affected by how long it has been. Today I found myself after a very vivid dream wanting to grab some random guy by the collar and drag him to my place for some good old ravishing. I can't say that that is really me, although I guess it would be nice to be less levelled from time to time.

I've always been all for freedom of speak. Especially when it comes to tabu's and such. I think that's why I don't even feel ashamed writing stuff like above. The term is lady boner, I believe.

(an awesome webcomic, go check it out here)

But for some reason even though I want to, I can't make myself write about not-so-womanly-stuff if it doesn't involve sex that much. I can read and write about fetishes, penis sizes, condoms, mutilation and even about tapeworms and buttsex, but farting is too much. I'd like to tell how much bowel movements affect feeling like a woman and feeling smexey. It's a real issue, but no one seems to be talking about it much. Not even people like me who have only little control of what comes out of their mouths.

So I go back to my comfort zone, which is romance. Okay fine, kinky romance. But still romance! I wrote about how you can detect others interest in the virtual worlds (virtual connection, as I like to call it) and I've always considered myself good at reading people. Lately I have come to the conclusion that I'm like John Snow, I know nothing when it comes to RL connections. If someone doesn't tell me straight up "I like you", I have no clue if they do or not.

It might have something to do with the vibes I send out. Maybe I'm too closed up to make others know that I like them and that's why they keep their feelings to themselves. I'm planning on hanging a sign on my neck that says "What do you want from me?". I'm not saying I have a crush on different person every day, but many of the guys around me do raise a certain level of eyebrow up in the air to show my interest. Still it feels mostly like this:

I like cheesy things. I like cliches. And I'm pretty sure so does many other girl. Especially those who spends their days in WoW, Imgur, reading webcomics and social media. This would totally work on me:

When I'm preparing to go out on a date with a person I've got to know through OkCupid or Tinder or whatever, I think to myself what the hell is wrong with the guy. Why are they still single at this age? And then I aim the question to me. What is wrong with me, why haven't I found the right one yet? Am I too picky, are my standards somewhere closer to the clouds than the roof? Am I too quirky, too weird, too demanding, too scary? Why is the most peculiar person I meet in the bus or in the store wearing a wedding ring? If the midget walking with sticks and the toothless, smelly fat guy have kids, why don't I? I can't be that bad... can I?

Maybe it's something I do. Perhaps I play hard to get. I don't make it clear enough that there's a chance. Though I don't make it clear enough that there's no chance in hell either. Perhaps I live too much inside my own head, in the dreamworld I've created. Or maybe I just don't go out enough. It's not like there are just random guys sending me messages like this:

I'm not too much, am I? This is pretty much my only requirement:

And of course I want to feel something. It's not good enough that we have fun together. I want him to make my palms sweat and my heart flap... Yeap. I'm too picky. Forever alone and all that crap. There's no point on this rant so I'll end it with another image. This one goes out for you, Sofa.

(credit to: Chiara Bautista link to FB)

Oh, and the song of the day (because it's such a weird day) is this one. I'm linking it just because I can. Don't you just luv the pink.

And I link it to you for the one single sentence,
"They say that good things take time but really great things happen in a blink of an eye".

...One more thing! You know how some guys send me some dickies from time to time? Funny story. I had a friend over and I showed him some game I find amusing and made him play it. The game at one point shows pictures from my computer... You can only imagine my face when I realised what kinds of pictures there can be on the screen. I think it didn't show the worse and I told my friend to quickly close it. Almost broke my rule that dictures sent to me are for my eyes only.