Wut is luv, part 2

Today has for some reason been quite stressful. I came home late last night and went straight to bed without my lovely few last hours napping in front of the computer before heading to bed. I slept restlessly and my morning routines didn't go as planned. I've cut back on caffeine so that might affect my day too. It wasn't busy, just... I don't know. Irritating, maybe.

Before I had to get to actual work, I sat outside in the sun for a moment and listened this song:

It somehow gave me the serenity I needed. Usually it's quiet where I work and I have a lot of time to just think and wonder about life. Today I had few of those moments, but my mind was empty and uneasy.

My only vague thoughts of the day were about Sofa's comment to my last post. I told you how we have a thing in the guild where someone shouts lyrics in caps to indicate he/she is singing. Slen often asks if we believe in life after love and I tend to answer it with "No. If there's life after it, it wasn't love to begin with."

I think you can love someone without being in love. You can love without it being love. If there's love or life after it, I don't qualify it as Love. At least not the all consuming love that wraps you inside like an erupt volcano or a flood crushing through your soul. Not the love you dedicate your life to.

The topic lately has been is it better to have loved and lost than ever loved at all. I'm a firm believer of taking chances for love. It's hard to know where the threshold is that it's no point on banging your head against a wall or where you start being a stalker. It's good to push it a little, but one has to be prepared that the counterpart doesn't necessarily want to be pushed too much. Calling someone in the middle of the night or dozen times a day is probably not the way to go.

Still, loving even for a brief moment is better than never experiencing it at all. And I don't mean Love, I mean any loving feelings towards someone. If you can have a moment of mutual feelings, even though it might hurt in the end, I still think it's worth it. It'll make you stronger and you can always remember those moments of being loved, and it will help you get through some rough times. And possibly remind you that you are lovable. If it happened once, it can happen again.

Sofa put it well by saying "I think love is far more complex than a blog post or even a whole series of blog posts and comments, but we know this. I think the mistake we often make is restricting love to just that one thing that you search for. It comes in many forms, and you almost certainly won't experience them all." And I agree that there's love all around us but sometimes we choose or mistakenly waste it or ignore it - and still it's there. Love doesn't just disappear suddenly, you can't screw love, but you can fuck up a relationship.

There's life after a fucked up relationship, but if it truly was love, the love will last a life time. There's no life after love. Love ends if you come to an end.

Thank you all for reading my blabberings. The blog has reached over 3000 views which I'm very proud of course. Stay tuned, I'm not quite done with this nonsense yet!