I just had a conversation with a friend about stream of consciousness. If you write it down without editing, could it be a peek into your mind and train of thoughts? He sent me some memories of his travels that were basically just things after things without much description. And I could see them before my eyes. Sometimes we don't need the whole picture, we just need an imagination. And the ability to see with our inner eyes.
I felt bad being so lazy that one time when I posted just my notes. But now I think it might be better to not always explain everything and just let you think what you want out of things. Just now I saw a gif where supposedly a man with down syndrome kicked a little boy and the father of the child who had been further away, knocked the kicker down with a single punch. There's no right answers to that situation. Nothing rarely is black and white. My notes are usually about those things, I guess that's what makes the thoughts so interesting. Some of these I wrote down while I was blabbering for hours on the phone with a friend a while back, so I can't take full credit for all of them.
Responsibility is on the individual.
An intelligent person is not (automatically) a good person.
One can be shy towards other things than just people.
"I knew from the start that you'll break my heart."
Where is the line between feelings and sexual tension? What are the signs?
"You got wisdom to give but you trade it for youth."
He is so smart, it's sexy.
Not to be loved like in the songs, but to love someone so much that you want to sing about it.
"It's a sin. Everything I've ever done, everything I'll ever do, everywhere I'll ever be."
Haste is the enemy of love.
There is no future in the past.
You need someone that doesn't need you to fix them, but someone who needs you nonetheless.
Being happy or being content as a goal of life?
If there really is a hell, I'll be going there.
No judge, no jury, just an execution.
Why do geek guys like older girls? Is it because they think younger chicks only likes makeup and fashion and nothing "smart"?
Save the world by flashing.
There was one more, but that doesn't say much to anyonebecause it's just "flirting: give/take". Okay, I might have to explain at least the last one. The flashing thing I saw in a documentary about vulva (I watched a penis documentary too and I was happy to see that cosmetic surgery has taken steps forward since the last documentary I saw. It's still crazy as hell, but I can still appreciate innovations).
In the documentary there was a journalist who had dove in deep to the world and history of female body parts. She had come across an ancient story of a Greek goddess Demeter who was sad because her daughter was kidnapped. A woman named Baubo then told her some lewd jokes and finally flashed her. That made the goddess laugh which was a good thing because her being sad made the world stay in a state of winter and all that. Apparently the goddess was raped trying to find her daughter who was imprisoned by Hades and probably raped as well. Greek mythology, always so cheerful.
Anyway, the world would be a better place if people laughed more. I'm pretty sure if us girls started to flash to people, it would be hilarious. So inappropriate as well, but nevertheless hilarious. Save the world by mooning your front side will become one of my mottos. Also I think if we saw genitalia in non-sexual situations more often, a world would be a better place. You can read more about goddess Demeter for example here.
The song of the day is Ramalama (bang bang) by Róisín Murphy. This time on Vimeo because someone had made an amazingly crazy video for it. Link here: https://vimeo.com/59360041
I want to thank you for the few (private) messages I got after the last post. Though I'm afraid some of you were too hasty and didn't read the last sentences... I would like to publicly announce that I'm fine. And not the lie fine, just regular fine. I find it interesting how worried some people can get when I tell them that I just don't feel it right now.
I hope it has something to do with my personality and not with society. Being an old-maid should be a lot cooler these days than a couple of decades ago. I'll be damned if I have friends who thinks I should force it just because. It shouldn't be that alarming if I'm not into the opposite sex (or same sex, or sex in general) right now. We're back to the Disney-aspect of a woman's life: our life mission is to find the prince. And there's just so much more to life than that. At least I'd like to think so.
When I was writing the last post I was thinking the whole time "I had more to say, what was it". Because I couldn't remember the post ended up to be pretty... amputated. Few hours after that I found my notes. Here's what I had written down, and I'm not gonna explain them more because... what's the fun in that.
He did have an impact on me/my life. Why am I not allowed to mourn that? Why do we have to be brave and pretend not to be vulnerable? I wouldn't be sad if I hadn't liked him, and what's the point of being with someone if you don't like them. I mean, that's why I got dumped.
"Dreams can make you happy if you really let them."
"We can make the world go wrong."
"Words are very unnecessary, they can only do you harm."
How much potential wasted? How many singers,
sirens, songwriters, poets? Because they are too afraid to be on stage
or they can't read, ect?
Literally start to smell the roses.
"Make sense, not love."
"I'm alive, but I'm alone."
Women watch romantic comedies like it's porn.
Once I was innocent.
Miscarriage is like a breakup.
There might be more than you believe.
What is your superpower? What would you want your superpower to be? What would it be based on your character as a human being? Is there a difference between those two?
There's a mellow word inside myself.
"Open your eyes and you'll see: your eyes are open."
Solitude.
Some of those might not make any sense, but that's what you missed because I'm not an organised person.
It's 7am and I'm listening to my newly-made playlist of 00's hits. I want to link you a song from that list, but I think linking Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind might be a bit too cruel. Even Crazy Frog would be kinder. So this is the blast from the past you deserve:
I've been so unbelievably homesick lately that I can't even. It doesn't help that I've had a headache the past three days, stressing for schoolwork and for going back home and ofc it's that time of the month. I took a pill for the headache, did some school stuff and bought some chocolate, so those things are covered, but there's not much I can do to homesickness. And add to that it's the independence day of Funland.
I miss home. I miss toilet doors that opens outside. I miss bus fares that are the same for any distance inside a certain region. I miss people automatically giving space to each other while walking on the street. I miss tap water that tastes good. I miss my own university and the level of education there. I miss familiar currency and familiar products at the store so I could do some kind of comparison without it taking forever. I miss knowing that I can speak my mind and knowing I have the words and the ability to explain what I mean without having to rush and leave things half way (I'm so much more witty in my native language). I miss knowing what's socially acceptable. But most of all I miss my friends and family. I miss being Finnish and not having to justify it to anyone.
It comes in waves and tonight I'm drowning. Tomorrow I'll probably be fine again and thinking that I don't ever want to go back home. So many things are good here and I love the freedom and anonymity that speaking a foreign language gives me. Though I easily swear in situations it's frowned upon, a thing that I would not do in Finnish. I'm having fun here and I love my new friends, they give me different kind of energy that I never thought I could have. I think I have already changed, but for the good and I'm somewhat scared to go back home. What if I fall back to my old ways? What if I don't fit in anymore? As if I ever fit in...
I've always been a bit more patriotic than the average friend of mine but being in a foreign country makes me appreciate my homeland in a very profound way. Clean water and clean air are amazing things. Forests and lakes. Our body-image. The bittersweet melancholy which gives space for happiness too. Free education, health care, dental. Electronic and technological advantages. The history we have. Ecological thinking. Equality and the sexual revolution. Honesty and politeness. The fact that we have a metal cover of so many songs and we have a metal band just for kids. There are so many things wrong in Finland but there are so many things right that it makes it the best country in the world.
I'm listening to Finnish songs and being all teary-eyed. We have a national anthem "Maamme -laulu" (our land's song) but we also had a great composer once, you might have heard of him, called Jean Sibelius who wrote the song Finlandia hymn. It was never meant to be sang but lyrics were made for it almost immediately and they're absolutely beautiful. This is that song performed by a choir and it was an ad for the presidential elections some time back.
The lyrics are touching, the song states that the day of Finland has finally arrived and the terror of the night has been driven away. It also says that Finland should hold its head high because it has shown the world that it has banished slavery and has not bend under oppression. Your morning has begun, Finland.
The times are tough in Finland like they are everywhere. Money is scarce and funding from cultural, educational and health care section are being pulled. There are a lot of worries about human rights, and immigrants and refugees. The discourse is loud - luckily. For both for and against, but at least we are talking about it. The best statement so far was made recently by a store chain with their ad:
The song is a classic and the lyrics gets new meanings with this ad and the people singing it. The lyrics goes something along these lines: He happened to be born innocent / to this northern and cold land / where already the ancestors drunk - of course / beat up their wives and children if they could catch them / the son wanted to escape from the traditional fate / "I won't ever buy an axe and I will never drink booze / or otherwise I will loose the house" / it drives a man in desperation / when the frost harvests the crops / from the middle of cold soil silently / a cold eye is staring / when the axe rises / in the middle of the mounds, from soil of the ground / proudly the fathers are watching their sons / unemployment, alcohol, an axe and the family / snow blanket, police and the last mistake... And so on. It's a very depressing song, but putting in this context it shows us that we're not different from the immigrants and the colour of your skin doesn't determinate that you can't have the same roots as I do.
Finland is traditionally seen as a white and blue country. White as snow, blue from the thousand lakes (or the coldness which makes us change colour from the captains of chalk ships to very unhealthy blueberries). The world is changing and so is Finland with it. I can only imagine the hardships those people go through who moves to Finland and I see it better every day now that I'm far away struggling myself with unfamiliar surroundings. Though I blend in in every Western country for being brown-haired and green-eyed, so one can't tell just by looking at me that I'm necessarily foreign. I've encountered enough cat-calling for being able to imagine what racism could be like, but I imagine it to be something much worse.
Today there's much more colour in Finland and that should be seen as a good thing. Learning about different cultures doesn't only teach us about the world, but it also makes us learn more about ourselves. Not looking beyond our own navel makes us narrow-minded in so many levels and thinking that our ways are the best makes us stand still. You are allowed to pick and choose the best for you and you are allowed to be yourself whatever that might be. It's not okay to break the law or not try living with the rules of the community, but as a person you should be what you are. It's hypocritical of us Finns to judge others when we consider being different a good thing. I know we bow to the Western culture and we want to be known and recognised but we still embrace our difference. Finnish culture wouldn't give up saunas even if rest of the world would criticise it. So why is it so hard to let others be what they want? Why do we think we're so superior and at the same time we have a huge inferiority complex.
Being away from home is hard. Many of my friends don't realise how much I would appreciate
hearing from them, talking to them in my mother tongue and just overall
being surrounded by familiar things even if it's through interwebs. I find solace in chatting with a friend who lives in a neighbouring country because I imagine he has gone through similar things as I have. He probably hasn't, but I like to relate even if it's just figure of my imagination. And he is one of the few people who pokes me from time to time asking me how it's going. I appreciate that. Though chatting with him is a bit dangerous - this is a person I've mentioned in the blog few times before and I would tell you guys the whole story if I didn't know he occasionally reads this. And on the note of men, I'd like to give an update on what's going on. But first a song to ease the transition.
I am tired of using technology and I need you right in front of me. Which means I'm quite tired of online dating. I miss feeling the rising tension of meeting your crush and I think online dating makes things too mechanical. I did have quite good experience just now: few so romantic dates that they are in my top5 along with the text message saying "the streets are flooding, can I call you?" and kissing at the airport right after meeting.
One of the best parts of him is that he has no idea how good looking he is. He told me that he has made some drastic changes in his life and he doesn't see how much good they've done for him. The worst part is that he has no space in his life and he doesn't realise how much that can affect another person. There's also cultural differences, me thinks, because as a Finn I appreciate punctuality a lot. I can be flexible but if you expect me to be that elastic outside the bedroom, it's not fun anymore.
I think there's a lot of wisdom in being friends first and dating later. Then you already know you're compatible and you know most of the things the other person does. With online or blind dating the connotation is always romantic or at least sexual first. There's some kind of touching of the skins before you really know the other person and then people rather do that than talk.
All the best -guy said the same thing as Dragonborn, and I think they're right. They both blamed me for attacking or pointing out the flaws in them. My friends have always told me I'm too judgemental and I guess that hasn't changed. I will think about this a lot and hopefully I'm able to change my ways because I don't want to be the person who keeps nagging. I think it has something to do with this:
But it's not just about romance. It's about everything. When I see greatness, I'm many times disappointed that the person doesn't see it himself and hasn't reached it yet. Perhaps pointing out the things would help them to realise those things and then help to reach them. It doesn't work like that, I know, and I have to stop doing that. This is why we need to date people that are compatible. Someone who knows you, knows what you mean when you do things, or say things, knows your tone of voice, knows the way you are and the way you act. Dating people blindly is tiresome; getting to know new people again and again in hopes that they will fulfil your hopes and dreams is exhausting.
At least I'm learning things about myself everyday. Both living abroad and dating are good ways to know more of who you are. I truly thank the people and the world for the feedback. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger . After few weeks when I go back home, I will be hard as a rock.
One more (Finnish!) song for the occasion. The lyrics say that you're finally starting to realise that you don't need permissions from anyone, that you're too beautiful to be ashamed and there's nothing to lose, so just let go, be beautiful, indecent and happy. That's truly what a strong independent Finnish woman should be.
A person who has a banker alt that sometimes sit beside a certain mailbox in Stormwind and is a guild leader, who in real has dark hair, likes metal, lives in Funland, likes to sing and thinks lyrics are important, is allergic to cats and in certain light seems relatively funny... sounds familiar? Who do you think I'm describing? Yup, not me. Let me start from the beginning.
Once upon a time, a cute little gnome settled in Stormwind and made a nest at a mailbox. She sits there almost every day and being all cuddlywuddly has many friends that stops by to say hi or give a quick hug. Many other people in their suits go by and some of them stops to chat with this gnome of ours. One of them is a tall man with a terrible hairstyle. They always talk about business or the weather or anything casual. This goes on for months and months. A new world is found and the city grows quiet. The gnome thinks that is why she hasn't seen her banker friend for a while. Time goes by and no sight of her friend. She asks around and even sends a letter to her friend, worried as she gets the more time passes.
One day she gets a reply, the player of that banker friend informs the player of the gnome that he has been doing other stuff but is back in the game now. Few days passes before they meet with their characters at the mailbox again. They chat and decide to exchange better contact info. In WoW that means giving out battletag names which means one can see the other player when ever they are online and on whatever character. It was long due for the heroes of our story. The real gnome behind the computer screen thought this friend of hers might actually be a girl and young. Nope, it turns out. It's a dude. Around her age.
Abort, abort, abort! Or what ever you do, do not - I repeat - DO NOT flirt with him. You have lately gotten your ass handed to you, don't you dare to suck this person into your mess. So friends? Friends. Friends are good. Especially if they like cats and music.
I, Luci, have a very bad habit of making geeky guys kneel in front of me. I usually tell the poor guys that I eat little boys for breakfast. I explain that it is advised to be careful around me since I can get pretty flirtatious and let's face it, I have a dirty mind and I'm not afraid to use it. I try to stay clear from the chat-traps (I've listed these before when I talked about how to know if someone is interested in you online) but I sometimes put the traps up myself and then walk to them. Here's an example (shortened from the actual conversation):
He: I'm a dragon, I don't have cheeks
Me: I imagine you as the dragon from Shrek
He: But that's a girl
Me: And I'm quite the ass
*bangs her head against the table* Luciiii! Noooo! What the hell is wrong with you?! Those are just the things that will get you into trouble. *sigh* Dude, chill.
That's all this time. Stay tuned for a special Valentine's extravaganza with awesome pics from the interwebs!
I haven't felt very happy the past few days. I see the shadows of past lingering too close again. I've taken too much responsibility and now my trial is to survive all of them. I know I should give up something to make room for breathing but I can't do that. I can't break my promises, commitments and there are people who depend on me. Like I told my friend, I just need to get my shit together. Even if it kills me.
Sitting at home in the darkness of the winter is not good for the soul, trust me. I forget to eat or I forget that I've already eaten. I don't sleep and when I manage to fall asleep finally, I have weird nightmares. I feel like crying most of the times and I just keep going over all the things I should've done and I still need to do. Thank goodness I have to go back to work soon! I know I will feel better when I do something meaningful and not just dwell on my own misery. Usually this time of the year I plan my next trip so there's something wonderful to look forward. This year I think it's best if I don't book a flight before my latest trip has been paid. I started my new year by cutting a credit card in half. Still I'm not worried about finances, as long as I have a job and live responsibly, there's nothing to worry about. And with the money I've had I've paid such wonderful things that it would be foolish to regret any of them.
What I worry is that I've started to fall back on old thoughts. I've had a bit more interaction with people from my earlier years and they haven't changed. I have to believe I have and stay strong. At least this time I noticed what they were doing during and not after. This time I'm not going to be stupid enough to fall for bullying, I will held my head up high and know that I'm better than what they think of me. But it's hard when people I thought were my friends have no respect, it really hurts. I shouldn't let things get to me. I won't let them get to me.
Some things are meant to be left behind. I'm not very good at dealing with stuff so I usually just brush them off and carry on. The problem is that sometimes I make the mistake of looking back. When something reminds me of something bad or something good that I've lost... it's a slippery slope.
I've started Pinterest'ing and mostly roam around there reading quotes and other silly sentences. As you've might already notice, I like inspirational little pictures a lot. I'll spam you guys with few of my new findings. Maybe they'll provoke some thoughts or bring back memories in you as they've done for me. But first, a song (I can't believe I'm linking this artist again):
When I can't sleep at night, I start to build castles in the clouds to keep the bad thoughts away.
Have you ever had the feeling that you shouldn't feel that way towards someone? Or that s/he is not an ideal match but you can't help but having butterflies in your stomach? Or that you would do very stupid things for another person?
This is not just about letting yourself go for love, but I think this is one of the reasons why smart people don't have children (watch Idiocracy, seriously).
I think this one is more about love than anything else. I'm not good at letting go and flying on the wings of emotions and I need to remind myself sometimes that it's okay to let go.
After I heard my friend say something bad about my other friend and then I saw this, I felt like shit.
One morning was particularly bad but this helped me to get through it. I'm not religious but I guess I believe in some kind of faith or destiny or some sort of supernaturalistic force.
This I think is pretty self explanatory. And simple. Good thing there's usually more than one door so even if the front door is blocked, there's still way out from the back door.
And this. It's a wall of text and not the best grammar but it's worth to read.
I know you might think I have a horrible taste in music, and it's probably true, but as everyone else I listen to it for the certain kind of feeling I get from it. So here's one more from my top (your bottom) list to enjoy:
And if an angel comes my way, I'm gonna try to catch her - if I can
Do anything to get her to stay. Baby, that's the way I am.
You can call me stupid, say I should give you up but I can't do it.
No matter what you do I'm hanging on and on and on.
Don't, don't ask me why I stay, don't say I could do better.
Hey it's just a little rain and we can't get much wetter.
Let me hold you when you cry, just let go and close your eyes.
No matter what you do I'm hanging on and on and on.
Yet again not the best grammar but it's not like I should be even talking about that subject. But I've already accepted I'm weird and a fool, your judgement means nothing to me. Can you look in the mirror and say the same? I think I'm not the only fool around here since this blog has over 4000 views. Thank you all for reading and witnessing my 1,5yr of singleness! I'm not (unfortunately) done with this sillywilly-ness yet.
I'm such a geek that I sometimes just have to laugh at myself. I did something I thought I never would. I asked a guy out. In a very geeky way and I'm rather ashamed of myself. No wonder he said no... No matter how much being turned down bums me out, I can't be but a bit proud of myself. I finally did it! Maybe next time I'll do it in person though :D
2014 is slowly fading away and 2015 is smashing through the window in to the room. And what a strange year is has been. A whole year single, who would've thought! I've been so happy this year. The most content for my life I've ever been. It hasn't been perfect, obviously, but the dark moments have been rare and I've been surrounded by wonderful people.
I thought I would go through this year through the songs I've been listening to most.
This song, Polarkreis' Allein Alene is a mix of languages and was linked to me my then new friend. We just celebrated our one year anniversary the other day and I can't emphasise enough how important he has been to me this year. We've had many giggles together but we've also cried together. There's not much I can't tell him. It's weird to call someone almost a decade younger one of your utmost bestest friends but he really is that to me. And before you ask, yes, we know through WoW.
I've come in terms with my nerdiness. Or geekiness. I don't know which I am. I'm not a machine geek, nor an anime nerd, but I'm definitely not.. an unnerd. I'm a lot more than that and sometimes I'm afraid people forget the other things I am but in the end I don't think about it too much. It does eat a bit my inner smexeyness, but then again... haven't met a nerd who hadn't liked me just the way I am. This song also made me realise that I'm not so serious as I've always thought. There's a lot of laughter in me towards very silly things and it usually gets out with fellow geeks. I think I was way too serious when I was around twenty and I'm quite happy to have gotten some life in me.
This is something I never get over. As much as I've grown in the past year and really got to know myself, I still have a constant fear of being misunderstood. In my youth it was that people wouldn't understand my jokes or what I'm trying to say or overall who I am or how I am. Now it has toned down, but it's still in the back of my mind. That's why I like the virtual connection more than being face-to-face. It's easier to let the inner voice be heard when it's not mixed with the physical awkwardness that sometimes so annoyingly takes over. It's also a problem when communicating in other languages; I can be quite witty in Finnish and I have to try really hard to reach the same levels in English.
What I've also realised is that I'm not
like other girls. I speak more openly about my sexuality and other
things. I don't grow old like other people around me. I don't look my
age, I don't act my age, I don't live like I should at my age, I don't
like or want the same things. I'm not the jealous kind, I'm overly
patient with the people I love, sometimes I think I love differently
too. I don't like to cuddle. I don't mind foul language. There are so
many things. When I was a teenager I was so sure that all the people are
so different from me. Then I learnt they are all the same, we are all
the same. And now, lately, I've started to feel like a stranger again. I
wonder if it was a short moment in time and age that I was like the
rest and now it has passed. Will I ever reach that point again?
The feeling that has gotten the better of me more than once this year has been the "why can't you see we would be good together?". I like you, but you like somebody else. And you like me, but I like somebody else. And it's so frustrating to be interested in someone and then someone and then someone and they are never the one. Three dates is the longest I've seen someone because they just haven't been the one I'm looking for. And only one of them has been quite mutual agreement that together we wouldn't be complete. I get sad when I look at that side of my year. It makes me feel old. It makes me feel so goddamn lonely. But as long as it doesn't make me desperate, I will survive the waves of frustration. Sometimes I just feel like I was promised more than I got.
This might sound weird but in the past year my self confidence has grown a lot. For example I've been so ashamed of my booty. "I mean, her butt, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean - gross." It required few compliments and some pics from good angles but I made it there: to the other side of self shame. I'm never gonna be skinny and I would probably get cut half in the middle if I was anyways. It's not just about acceptance for being what you are and not trying to forcefully change it, it's also liking your own body. As long as I'm not obese, why not like what I wear when I party with Adam and Eve.
I haven't lost my metal side. It has been hiding, but it's still there. This is not a happy song, but damn that it has a good beat! I noticed I'm not young anymore when one day I was home moshing and I couldn't move my head the next day. It was totally worth it though! I cannot help but move to music especially when it has such a beat. I bought a pair of leather pants this year and I've started to wear more of clothes that I think looks good but others might think looks a bit weird. I've felt I've went back to my roots this year but without overdoing it. I'm happy that I've found other things I like in life but it has also been nice to notice there are somethings that doesn't change in me. There's always gonna be a hint of darkness, hint of anger, hint of sadness and hint of metal in me. Always.
Overall this has been a good year. The biggest part of the goodness is because of the guild and the guildies. I've had wonderful trips across Europe and I've met some of those wonderful people in real life. Still have many to meet but they've still been there for me without being physically present. Maybe the year to come will give me opportunities to meet them and maybe even more awesome people. I have felt myself useful when I could've been there for others but I've also feel I've failed couple of times. I will learn from those mistakes and in the years to come try to make up for them. It's been a good road I've been on and I think I should continue this path. Maybe study a little more and do the dishes more often but otherwise I will keep the course and full speed ahead! I've felt so loved, not by a significant other but by friends and family. If I had true love in my life, my glass full off luck and happiness would overflow.
Next year I would like to dance more, sing more, love more, laugh more, travel more, work harder, let go off unnecessary pain, play more with my friends, make snow angels and sit by the midsummer night bonfire and maybe hire a professional lotioner to help me not to turn into a freaking raisin every goddamn winter.
I would like to ask for more courage to be myself, to trust myself more, to have more strength. I would like to gain more wisdom, more understanding and more appreciation to little things. I would like to listen to more good songs, listen to birds sing, listen to people smile. I would like to give no more bs and receive no more bs. And I wish all of this to everyone.
Only couple of dozen hours left of this year. Oh boy how many dickies I've seen...
Guys, if you didn't last year when the countdown started, this year just kiss the girl. Sha la la la.
(btw. it's 5am so if this post didn't make any sense, it's totally not my fault)
A month ago I was on a roadtrip in Denmark with my friend and guildmate Juju. We rented a car and drove around almost the whole country. Here is a map of it. The blue line is the way up and the red is the way back. The idea of the trip was to meet as much guildies as we could and we had time to see five of them. So the trip was pretty much a success!
Of course we came up with dozen of inside jokes but we also came up with new words. We thought that "shipping" two people together wasn't good enough and we started to call it "planing". The logical explanation to this is that ships are slower than planes. And if you want two people to be together, you want it to happen sooner than later. (Actually the word doesn't come from ships or delivering cargo, but we didn't let that stop us.)
We also came up with the term "complimentary boner". When you're spooning with someone, and you're the little spoon and the bigger spoon has a penis, it's expected the bigger spoon to get a boner. It is quite rude if they don't since they are rubbing their pelvis against your butt. It's not necessarily anything you have to do something about. It can happen amongst friends too. But you shouldn't be offended about it, it's just a compliment to your butt and the sweet, sweet spooning you're doing.
Seriously girls, if a guy gets a boner, it doesn't mean you have to put out. It doesn't even mean you should get uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure guys get boners all the time and are quite used to them. And used to it not leading to anything more than that. Enjoy the poke on your lower back! The person you're spooning with couldn't say it better with words: you're hot and he knows it.
